big goals and lil goals

So, I did my New Years Eve thing. I cried over the last year and just how crappy it's been, but I smiled about the things that have turned out okay. It was healing and refreshing; and then it was time to look toward the new year.

I'm not a person who thinks New Years Day is a clean slate. To me it isn't; I have the same life and the same problems. However, I think it is a physical reminder of sorts of starting over or doing better. A day to put your best foot forward.

I chose not to. Instead I buried myself among my clippings, quotes, notebooks, journals, and really old family videos. I read my weight journal from 10 years ago...a weight I have now come back too *sigh*, and watched in the videos how my weight (and outlook on life) progressed. When I was happy I looked better, carried myself upright, and was more active; when life sucked I slouched, wore sweats, and just kinda bummed around. My outside reflected my inside and it showed for everyone to see.

I wrote a list of the things I need to work on everyday: Physical, Emotional, Spiritual, Intellectual, and Nutritional. Under each I have a list of activities that I can do once a day. I want to be me again. Whole, healthy, and strong in all the ways I need to.

I can do this.

For the girl

My duck-billed platypus

As anyone knows, I'm not a Oprah watcher. I'm not into talk shows or soaps. Just not my thing, unless it has something to pertain to me. Last week was a show on child predators. Yeah, I watched that one. This is from one on Warrior Mothers. Jenny McCarthy has a son with autism and her boyfriend, Jim Carrey, wrote a chapter in her book. This is a segment of what he said that just left me in tears.

Jim says women should keep in mind what they do want—not what they don't want—from a partner. "If you go around saying, It's impossible. No one will ever love me. A good man is hard to find, then you're saying to the universe that you don't believe in abundance," he says. "This universe that created the stars, galaxies, Niagara Falls, the Grand Canyon and the duck-billed platypus is quite capable of finding someone for you that has the capacity to love you, no matter what your situation is."If you convince yourself that you deserve to be loved,"Jim says "it can—and will—happen."

Wednesday

Okay so after saying I hadn't updated in my email, I thought I should. LOL It's been a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious of a long day. (yeah, and I even spelled it right too!)
This is the bed I picked up for Chrystal. Like it? It's unfinished wood, but I like it. The bunk beds I want to get next are the same look.
<3 Melissa

Make a Smilebox slideshow

1 less thing

With so many decisions on my plate I think I'm losing my mind. Should we "D" (for safety when kids are around and we are discussing it) If we D, should I stay here and finish schooling and get a job and then move out? Should I stay til after I'm working, continue being married, and then D? If we don't D what are the reasons being it. SO many, many questions.
Because of all that I have this mental list of things I will need to have. Dishes. Pots and pans. Silverware (thanks Barbara). Towels. Shower courtain. BAH my head starts to spin! So this morning, after posting my blog, I did some errands. Walmart has nice dishes, but $54+ for a 16 set. Walmart has nice towels too, but I decided to wait until I checked Kmart.
So, after leaving Wal-mart I stopped at Kmart (can you say...layaway??)They have a sale going on towels so I got gray and pink towels. (3 gray, 3 pink, 2 bath sheets~1 gray and 1 pink), and 4 handtowels~2G and 2P. Then walking down the discount isle (they had more towels) I grabbed 2 gray rugs. (1 for the toliet, and 1 for the floor.) YAY I had succeeded...and then I found dishes with the discount sticker. $23 for a set of 16. "Okay I thought, this is more do-able." Too bad they were UGLY. However, on the bottom shelf I spied these cute blue and white ones. I opened the box, expecting the paint to be crappy, but they were cute. :o there were 2 boxes. I told myself someone probably had them in their cart, found a nice discount set, and put these on the shelf. It had to be because there wasn't any yellow sticker. So I head to the layaway and Leroy comes back to check in my stuff. I asked him for a price and guess way...
$16 I was so shocked and excited that I gave him the other box. Grand total for my shopping spree...$120. Feeling of accomplish: Priceless